Chocolate Gelato!!!!!!

Beware!!!!

It's Gelato Season!!!!

Gelato is not merely ice cream. Nooooooo. It is much more than that. It is a conspiracy. It is cruel. In fact, I cannot think of many more diversionary tortures in Life than this.

Gelato is devious. It has telepathic powers. It can, and will, control you. It works like this: Imagine yourself walking somewhere, perhaps for a hair appointment, perhaps home. Suddenly, you are abruptly yanked by your ear into the gelateria, and a cup of your favorite gelato appears in one hand. Inexplicably, the other hand moves to place a morsel of this gelato on your tongue. You feel powerless. No. You are powerless. Paralyzed.

You are levitated to another dimension that you cannot touch or hear. It seems that you can perceive the world (as you know it) around you, but just the same, it seems very far away. At this moment, it is just you, and that gelato. You are compelled to consume it. You find that you actually enjoy its company. Then, suddenly, inexorably:

It is just you, and your gelato. There is nothing else.

And it is at this moment that the gelato has you, not the other way around, as most people would believe.

I've had quite a number of these moments while here in Italy, and unfortunately for me, I don't regret any of them. Some of my best out-of-body gelato experiences have been in Jesi, where there is a small bar that produces some of the best gelato in all of Italy.

But I digress. Take heed and be warned: Gelato is actually a experimental vehicle for an extraterrestrial being that is looking to take over the earth. This is fact, and yet you see untold numbers of humans being consumed by gelato.

We must be vigilant!!!

OK - all kidding aside - my latest ritual on my days off are this: on my way back to my bus stop, I stop in at my favorite gelateria, and then ooze my way to said bus stop in sheer bliss over silky smooth choco gelato....